Kaido’s Beast Pirates are a handful to manage. It’s not as if you could tie a leash around their necks and they’d suddenly be compliant. Being disobedient is one thing, but hassling the Straw Hat crew while they try to liberate a friendly samurai nation is totally not acceptable.

Oh! If only there were a way to tame this weird looking, noisy bunch.

Let me state this. I am not against heteromorphs. I love powerful half-beast, half-humans as long as they are on my side. And if a Kibi Dango is what is needed for them to listen to me, I’d search far and wide till I find one. But the Straw Hats, especially Usopp and Nami have it easier. Praise Oda, he waved his magic wand and lo behold, O-Tama has made an appearance in the midst of all the racket.

And with her, the Kibi Dangos (or literally the millet dumplings).

When a chance is presented to take down your enemy (plot armor though it may be) you accept it with your arms wide. Usopp’s skull might be broken, but I am sure he still has the common sense to come to the same decision. If there was a match made in heaven, then it is Usopp’s sniping skils and Tama’s millet dumplings.

Kibi Dangos to rule over them all!

All Usohachi has to do is summon is friend Sniperking (Sogeki), and use the millet dumplings that Tama produces from her cheeks to make Kaido’s minions do their bidding. Taking away Kaido’s army from him is a sure shot way to victory. No? Okay! Okay! I hear you calling me cruel for suggesting Usohachi make use of an innocent kid. I see you shedding tears for poor little Tama thinking how many millet dumplings she’ll be forced to produce. After all there is a whole horde of unruly beasts out there. You even accuse me of being worse than Kaido and his headliners.

Fear not! I am no slave driver. And since this is not a gag article, I have a concrete plan that involves little to no work.

Tama tame the leader and you o-tama tame the herd!

All Usopp Sogeki has to do is to get a millet dumpling into Kaido’s mouth, when he goes “Wro Wro Wro” and chides the Akazaya Nine for being weak. Problem solved. Kaido is out wide in the open. He has a huge build which is sufficient enough for a legend like Sniper King to get an easy shot on. All the Akazaya Nine have to do is crack a joke and make the Yonko go Wro Wro Wro. Maybe offer him some wine? And once Kaido is under control, make him swear loyalty to the Straw Hats. I am sure Luffy won’t mind having a dragon on board along with a new apprentice.

But first, Nami and Usopp have to get away from Ulti and her Pay Pay before they get beaten to a pulp. A loyal Dog would be able to distract the two unruly dinosaurs for now. I can only hope a friendly Baboon might also make his appearance to aid the dog.

Now, the only question that remains is, what if the All Stars and the Tobiroppo won’t obey Kaido’s orders knowing he is being controlled by the taste of a dumpling! Well, Tama won’t hesitate to produce a few more dumplings now would she?