Despite all of us being similar in one way or another, our souls tend to scream and beg in a different manner for the same things. Complete freedom is an illusion, a belief held by a fanatic. People are bound to be strangled by the chains of untold lies and inscrutable truths.
“My throat hurt. I couldn’t breathe. I heard someone screaming”
In the walk of life, people often try to find a reason to continue living, to take a step forward every day, as if that very reason defines the meaning of our existence. For Odasaku, it was compassion and a kind world he sought for, an innocent man in search of the unknown. At the brink of his death, he realized that the hope he clung onto was nothing but the chains of delusions.
“I realized because my throat hurt so much, that I was the one who was screaming.”Odasaku
Hope flickers and dream dies. A hysterical shriek can be heard, lurking in the dark alleys from the streets entangled with surrealism.
Sakunusoke Oda, a man who was drowned in existentialism while seeking the meaning of something distant and unknown to the deeply chaotic society. A human being who just wanted to be on the right side, saving people and his friend, Dazai.
True friend. The only friend.
With a pure soul, an innocent smile, and the calm blue eyes, he tried to envision a world where happiness was a choice, and peace was a necessity, just another man blinded with hope and the bright colors.
Oda was fighting against himself in a world that has forsaken individualism long ago, all while helping a friend in need. Osamu Dazai is the reflection of the ideals of his old friend – existing to help others, being on the side to save people, and trying to crawl away from the darkness which has been lurking in him for so long. The Dark Era Arc is all about finding oneself with the help of others. Existentialism is the cause, and the death of an ideology is the effect.
A man who had no ulterior motive, he only wanted peace. His calm blue eyes reminisced about his past self, an assassin on the loose. He remembers it vividly, the day when he read a book in the cafe. Kokoro, a novel which had a bleak protagonist but a promising story. He salvaged it from one of his recent victim’s houses. The book was a three-part series, but he was only able to find the two of them.
Upon completing both the parts, he sits there silently, listening to the sounds the ocean makes while a wind gushes through. He sees a man standing in front of him; he tells him not to read the last part as it’s an atrocious piece of work and wouldn’t quench his thirst. The man talking to Oda was none other than the author of the book himself, Natsume Soseki. He gives Oda the last volume of the book but with the final pages missing and says that he should write his ending, his own conclusion. And therefore started a journey of Oda wanting to become a writer. Before going, Natsume told Odasaku that “To write novels is to write about humans.”
These words changed Odasaku for good, and he stopped killing people because a murderer has no right to write about the lives of people. A whole new perspective was formed upon a meeting, and a new reformed man was born that day in the cafe, a man who just wanted to be happy in his own little world.
It was hard for Oda to see his friend reek in agony, his true friend, only friend – Osamu Dazai. Dazai was trying to find a reason to live in violence, bloodshed, and corruption, but he was unable to. Oda saw him flutter through pain and heard his silent scream; he understood him. After all, they were friends.
The very reason why Osamu Dazai is still alive and helps people out of their misery is Odasaku only. His last words to Dazai were ‘Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, become a good man’.
Theses words shook Dazai to his core. For a man who has only sought death his entire meaningless life, he now had a reason to live. We turn a lie into our truth in order to survive because in the end, people live to save themselves.
The passing of Sakunusoke Oda feels personal. It feels like a humongous intangible loss. The man just wanted to write a book with an ocean view, is that too much to ask for? It still feels like I lost him yesterday, a pure soul turned into dust. With all said and written, Oda finds a spot in my favorite characters of all time. Despite having no character growth at all, the guy manages to inflict the spanks of agony and scars on me—a character whom I’ll adore my whole life.
Thank you, Odasaku.
Dazai still remembers you and will continue to do so.
Your legacy continues.